Pepsi Admits Their Toxic Sludge is Capable of Dissolving Rodent Carcasses

An Illinois man is suing Pepsi Co, the makers of popular soft-drink Mountain Dew. He claims that after taking a sip of the neon-yellow foodstuff he immediately spat it back out after finding a dead mouse floating in his Dew. “No way!” says PepsiCo (naturally). And we’re inclined to believe them. But the kicker of the story is Pepsi’s soul-cringingly disgusting defense that has us convinced – if deeply disturbed.

“The mouse would have dissolved in the soda had it been in the can from the time of its bottling until the day the plaintiff drank it,” says their statement going on to add that the mouse would have turned into a “jelly-like substance” before the plaintiff even got a chance to Do the Dew.

So in an effort to avoid what may or may not be some kind of attention grabbing extortion plot Pepsi all but admits to the fact that their death syrup is nothing short of some kind of bone melting acid not unlike something James Bond might be threatened with. Lovely.

(Source: Atlantic Wire)


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